luministi | [Video] S03E01: Fitz and the Tantrums

[The transmission begins with something of a disdainful snort. Someone is ~~on the verge of~~ throwing a tantrum as he stands in front of a window displaying the starry expanse outside, clutching a pillow in the most aggressive way it's physically possible for him to clutch a pillow.]

Really? Really!? I spent HOW many months making sure that every little nook and cranny of this station remains perfectly flawless and beautiful, waiting and waiting AND WAITING for this day, this MOMENT, and THIS is the thanks I get!? Being locked back here!? Just how in the hell am I supposed to welcome everyone like this, huh!? How am I supposed to be a gracious, pleasant host when I'm locked in the station's equivalent to a GODDAMN MAINTENANCE CLOSET!?

[His death-grip on the pillow tightens visibly.]

I'm going to have a word with that man, and if he doesn't help me fix this, I... I'll think of something!!

[The video switches off, but the audio stays on for a moment to catch a muffled comment:]

This was supposed to be such a good day...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

As long as nobody moved it while I was over here, it should still be sitting on my bed. The basic layout of all of the houses here is about the same, so if you're familiar with the building you arrived in you should be able to find the right room.

Unless you've already wandered off somewhere you're either on the northeastern or the northwestern corner of the town. My house is in the east on one of the furthest corners - it's impossible to miss since I'm the only one with a huge wreath on their door.

ROG3R C4PT41N CH3RRY BUTT

[good thing he mentioned it had something on the door, otherwise she'd be at a loss where to go.]

TH1S WONT T4K3 V3RY LONG

WH1L3 1M GR4BB1NG TH1S TH1NG YOU C4N T3LL M3 HOW TO G3T TO WH3R3 YOU 4R3 >8]

Do you really have to call me that?
At least I've been promoted to "Captain," but...

One more thing, the book you're looking for is relatively small with a red cover. I have a few other books sitting around, but this is the only one with writing in red and purple ink. It should be hard to miss.

Where I am now, as far as I know you can only get there from a passageway in the Mayor's residence, which is the enormous fancy building just a little northwest of my house. Inside that building, there's this room that's... It's bigger and emptier looking than the others, and aside from the entrance there's only one other door there.

I'm not sure if that door is also locked right now, but it doesn't really matter anyway. Through that door is this hallway which leads to another door, which I'm on the other side of.

Hopefully that doesn't sound too complicated. It's really not.

YUP OF COURS3 1 DO
H3H3H3

[this is when she happens upon the book in his room.]

1V3 4LW4YS LOV3D TH3 COLOR R3D
1TS S1MPLY TH3 B3ST ON3 TH3R3 1S

NOP3
4S LONG 4S 1 M4N4G3 TO T4ST3 MY W4Y TH3R3 1T W1LL B3 4 C1NCH
1LL B3 TH3R3 SOON 3NOUGH >;]

Taste...?

Did you lick my record book!?

Y3S
Y3S 1 D1D!

HOW D1D YOU KNOW??

[cutting her way across town, snickering.]

WHY??

wait

WERE YOU LICKING MY PICTURE WHEN I SENT THAT BROADCAST????

OF COURS3 1 W4S
YOUR3 4 V3RY S1LLY M4N YOU KNOW TH4T R1GHT >:]

1 C4NT R3S1ST 4NYTH1NG R3D

[going towards the mayor's house now??]

1 TH1NK TH3 P4G3S W3R3NT TH4T B4D 31TH3R...

[Whenever and wherever you want, bro. :|b But for now Ichijou has more important things to address:]

MY HAIR IS OFF-LIMITS.

NO LICKING MY HAIR.

NOT ALLOWED.

1DK 4BOUT TH4T
MY TONGU3 H4S 4 W4Y OF PUSH1NG P4ST R3QU3ST3D BOUND3R13S
>:]

[alright she's at the door. this is where she attempts to bust it down practically.

but fails, obviously.]

WH4T 1S TH1S DOOR M4D3 OF 3V3N >:?

That wasn't a request, it was a demand.

Oh, you found it then? Hell if I know how it was made - it's probably composed of something I've never even heard of.

ONLY UGLY SL1MY CR1M1N4LS M4K3 DUMB TH1NGS L1K3 D3M4NDS FROM POOR L1TTL3 BL1ND G1RLS!

PROB4BLY
TH1S M34NS YOUR3 4LSO PROB4BLY SCR3W3D

[He technically IS a criminal. But certainly not an ugly one, and only slimy in the figurative sense. Either way she doesn't need to know that.]

Criminal! You really think that valuing my personal space and the flawless state of my hair is a sign of criminality? Like it matters whether you're blind or not!

At least if I'm trapped here and die, you can't lick my hair. Unless you get in some time after that. But then I won't care because I won't be alive, so I still win.

M4YB3
M4YB3 1T DO3S FOR YOU

L3 G4SP 4R3 YOU S4Y1NG YOU WOULD L34V3 4 BL1ND P3RSON OUT 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF TH3 STR33T??

WOW
YOU 4CT L1K3 1F SOM3ON3 POOP3D ON YOUR H41R YOUD D13

M4YB3 1 C4N 3NT1C3 TH3 TOWN TO G3T YOU OUT OF TH3R3 BY OFF3R1NG TO CUT 4LL OF YOUR H41R OFF FOR SOM3 FORM OF 3NT3RT41NM3NT
SHOWC4S1NG CR1M1N4LS G3TT1NG PUN1SH3D

WHO SAID YOU COULD USE MY HAIR AS A BRIBE???

[you're making this too easy for her, ichijou!]

1M SUR3 N4TSUO WOULD KNOW 4 TH1NG OR TWO 4BOUT SOM3 S3R1OUS B4RB4RSH1P
H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3

[Video] S03E01: Fitz and the Tantrums

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