One

[chainsawspistice]

[This gray-skinned horned girl will be wandering around with a strange candy corn ball thing in hand until she reaches the town square. She'll be hovering on the edge of the celebration looking one part contemplative and one part unsure. If you look human, chances are she'll be giving you a very interested look as well.

Also, if you look at your CAT, you'll find an oddly typed message in jade green font:]

I Dont Know This All Seems So Callous
The Gifts Were A Nice Gesture
But Allow Me The Delusion That A Basket Of Inoffensive Food Items And Paraphernalia Might Be An Insufficient Catalyst To Heartfelt Gratitude
Even If The Basket Appears Very Well Made
And The Two Wheel Device Was Unexpectedly Generous
Still Id Like To Return Home As Soon As Possible
If Anyone Can Direct Me To The Mayors Office I Would Appreciate It Thanks

Comments

[luke_triton]

[Sigh.]

Fine, suppose I play along. Where are we and why exactly are we really here?

[chainsawspistice]

I suspect our ignorance is matched in that regard. I had been assuming we were on Earth or one of its settlements given the apparent majority of humans.

[luke_triton]

Well, it does look a little bit like home, I suppose...the trees and houses and everything. It's nothing at all like London though.

...What are you anyway?

[chainsawspistice]

A troll. My home planet was named Alternia. It existed in a universe entirely removed from yours.

[luke_triton]

[Well, at least she has a story with some substance. He's not convinced she isn't a person in costume.]

If that's true, then how do you even know what humans are?

[chainsawspistice]

[She would let him tug her horns if it satisfied him, but that would be highly undignified. And probably insufficient.]

Not long ago, my co-players and I spoke to a small group of humans over the internet. We found their hornlessness and pink skin just as strange as you undoubtedly find us. No offense.

[luke_triton]

"Us"? There are more of you?

[Luke this isn't getting anything done and furthermore interrogating a lady is not what a gentleman does.]

U-Uh, sorry, my name's Luke.

[chainsawspistice]

Of course. My race would be highly questionable if I were its only member.

My name is Kanaya. Nice meeting you.

[luke_triton]

[All right. Kanaya is a nice name. Luke kind of smiles.]

Thanks for helping me pick up my stuff.

[chainsawspistice]

You're welcome.

[She gives the bike's handlebars a slight readjustment so they're perfectly straight before she steps away.]

Be careful.

[luke_triton]

Yeah, I'll try. I was trying to work out how to find something to eat.

[chainsawspistice]

All of the nutrient consolidation centers I saw appeared unserviced. The celebration in the "town square" may be the only option. I was heading there, myself.

[luke_triton]

Don't bother, there's really nothing there. Just some cheese and crackers.

[His stomach joins in the complaining. Luke is so hungry.]

I was hoping if I found my "house" there might be food inside.

[chainsawspistice]

Not even punch? The fiends.

[It takes her a beat to translate "house" to "hive". The culture exchange process. It never ends.] Are you having trouble locating it?

[luke_triton]

...Uhh...you saw me, right? It's hard to listen to everyone and read the map and ride the bike all at once.

[chainsawspistice]

[Mmhm.] Then perhaps you shouldn't do all at once? Just an idea. A quibble, really.

[luke_triton]

[SIGH.]

Probably. Nothing good happened when I tried it.

[Well. Is that fair, Luke?] Well, all right, maybe one good thing. I didn't know anybody at all before.

[chainsawspistice]

Me neither. But no repeat performance, please. I don't think your two wheel device can handle it.

[She glances at his map. Maybe he needs help finding his house...]

[luke_triton]

[Straightforward, unpuzzling maps are a rarity. For him.]

...You mean my bicycle?

[chainsawspistice]

["Bi" being two, she presumes they're talking about the same thing.]

Sure.

[luke_triton]

I suppose it's been a while since I've ridden one. Usually we take the Professor's car.

[He gives her a look, then. Something about 'two-wheeled device' sounded almost...]

Four-wheeled petrol-powered vehicle.

[chainsawspistice]

Um.

[She's not sure she's getting the right mental picture here, but humans are pretty strange... She's not sure what "petrol" is, either.]

Are human four-wheel devices commonly of adequate construction to accommodate two parties at length?

[luke_triton]

Mmhmm! Usually at least four. Two up front and two in back.

[chainsawspistice]

[What...]

Wouldn't that be cumbersome for the primary occupant of the four-wheel device? Passage through doorways sounds particularly cumbersome. Perhaps even cumbermany.

[luke_triton]

Doorways? A car doesn't go through doorwa- oh, here. Hold on a minute.

[Taking out his book to draw a picture of the Laytonmobile is what he ought to have done in the first place. This girl from "another universe" probably doesn't even know what a car is! Right? She seems pretty perplexed by the bicycle, and cars are far more intricate.

He holds out the drawing when he's done.]

That's a car.