The Invisible City of Kitezh II. Wedding Procession

[collector]

[Braxiatel has picked out a nice, comfortable room for the broadcast. (Also, he has tea, but does that even need to be mentioned?) The initial smile he offers is somewhat less pleasant than it could be.]

First, allow me to congratulate the happy couple on their engagement. Do enjoy yourselves picking out the drapery for your new home. And if I may applaud the Doctor in particular for finding a new place to trap us all.

[That done, Brax is back to being cool, calm, and calculating]

Now, on to business. Some of you may have already explored the area and found five locked doors. One, to the north, is essentially inaccessible, but I'm sure no one will be too upset if we keep trying. There also are four other doors, each of which asks a security question when one gives it access to one's CAT. Each door's question is asked by one of the residents of the town.

In case anyone wanted to have a go at the questions, I've made a text post with the door's location, the question's speaker, and the question given. My suggestion is that the doors be taken in teams. We haven't any idea what's behind them, after all.

[with a sip of his tea] And if I could borrow the future wife of Doctor Hatter, I think I'd like to try the northwest door with her first.

[TEXT]

Northeast: Osculia
What treat is the best reward?

Northwest: Verita
I don't just stand for the news; I, Verita, also stand for...

Southeast: Audrey Ardes
I'm as boisterous and cheerful as they come, but mentioning this can kill my good mood. What is it?

Southwest: Dante Iussus
I'm a man with an awful... And before I believe anything, I need...

Comments

[fortune_sought]

[gives a long-suffering sigh] Mr Braxiatel, really, must you?

[collector]

[calmly]

I think your first-born should be 'Koschei' if it's a boy and 'Ushas' if it's a girl.

[fortune_sought]

[eyes him] I do hope you're not being serious.

[collector]

You don't agree with the names?

[fortune_sought]

[gives him a look that tells him exactly what she thinks] Perhaps I'll try a different door.

[collector]

[Well that's what you get for getting engaged without telling him.]

I wouldn't dream of stopping you. But I'd rather not go alone.

[fortune_sought]

[she really wishes that hadn't happened]

Slithering out again, Mr Braxiatel?

[bit_impossible]

[not too long after the broadcast has ended, the slam of a door marks the Doctor's entrance into the room Brax has chosen to hang out in. he doesn't move from the door, but gives him a look before speaking]

That! That was uncalled for. I mean, do you really see me picking out drapes?! [he scowls, folding his arms over his chest] I don't suppose it's too late to ask you to be my best man?

[collector]

[sipping that tea] Don't slam doors, Thete. It's so needlessly dramatic.

[bit_impossible]

[stares]

You haven't answered my question--and I mean the second one. The first was rhetorical. [because he'd sooner face an army of Cybermen than be forced to go fabric shopping for drapes.]

[collector]

[There's a long pause.]

And the second wasn't.

[collector]

I really wish you wouldn't describe me like that, Sophie. It makes me feel like you're calling me a snake.

[bit_impossible]

[opens his mouth, then closes it]

Well. Yes. But I'm curious.

[fortune_sought]

[blinks, surprised when he calls her by name. pouts at him because it's easier to be annoyed than sympathetic] If it helps, of all the people in this town, you are certainly not the one who reminds me most of a snake.

But you do slither out of things.

[collector]

[After a moment, Brax shrugs] So long as I may have Bernice as the best man should I get married. I don't think I could trust you with any speeches.

[collector]

I think I can live as long as I'm not called a weasel.

Now, will you accompany me? I promise not to abandon you at the door. Goodness knows you'll have to deal with that at the altar.

[Was he trying not to make jokes about that? Whoops, he forgot.]

[fortune_sought]

Then I'll be sure never to call you that.

Yes, all right. I do appreciate that, but I can think of worse things that could happen than being abandoned there.

[collector]

Such as actually being married to him?

[bit_impossible]

[begins to laugh] You? Get married? You do realise with Bernice there, the ceremony could get quite--oi! Why wouldn't you trust me to give a speech? I can be brief if that's what you wanted.

[fortune_sought]

Yes, well. [glances around as though checking for eavesdroppers] The mayor certainly wouldn't come for the ceremony if there weren't to be one. [sighs, hoping he knows what she means]

Shall we meet at the door?

[collector]

[He smiles at that, but nods]

Certainly. Contact me when you're ready.

[collector]

Yes, you have a few mildly laconic faces. But you still aren't speaking at any weddings I may or may not have.

[fortune_sought]

I'll be there shortly. [ends the connection, hurrying to the northwest door]

[bit_impossible]

Well...[frowns, sniffing] Not that it matters, anyway.

[collector]

[It doesn't take Brax much time at all to get there, as he chose a door close to it on purpose, and as he has gotten very used to the layout very quickly.]